Down in the Funk

If you are of the male species I ask kindly, that you click away from this post. If you chose to read it anyway, well, I can’t stop you. I must warn you however, that this may change the way you look at the female population.

Originally I was going to title this post “Down in the funk of housewife syndrome”, but then I realized this is a funk I have constantly fallen prey to since I was a teenager and unmarried. So I changed it.  I know with out the shadow of a doubt that I am not the only woman to fall into this abyss of lethargic tendencies.  Sometimes it feels otherwise.  It is always a bonding moment when I meet another woman who says “Wow! I am right there too!”. It doesn’t happen too often. My trusted social circle is quite slim these days.

I woke up this morning after a particularly frustrating night of either being restlessly asleep or not asleep at all.  The emotional turmoil in my mind that likes to stop by for a visit from time to time was warring with my sense of normalcy. Anyway, I woke up and realized that I had let myself fall into survival mode.  I am not referring to the survival mode that happens when the Zombiepocolypse has torn the world apart.  Nope, I am referring to the survival mode that happens when everything feels overwhelming and you shut down the functions that enable you to feel alive and motivated, leaving you feel like you are wandering aimlessly through life.  You don’t care though, because this way you get through your day with out crying, or yelling, because you don’t care. In a sense, you end up like the people on Miranda in the Joss Whedon flick “Serenity”.   But instead of becoming so “Blah” that you don’t care if you eat or breathe, you stop doing the things that make you well, you.  For me; I stopped taking pictures. It had been weeks since I plucked my eyebrows or gone for a run. Even after I spent so much money on my amazing running shoes.

I have filled my days with World of Warcraft and reading. These are my happy places when my life feels like it’s too much and depression takes over.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with either hobby when they are done in moderation, but when they take over and are all you focus on you lose sight of what is really important in your life.  I still took care of the kids, and spent time with them and Nerd Dearest, but I didn’t want to spend time with myself.  So I did things that absorbed my thoughts and didn’t leave me alone with myself.

So today, I decided that today is the day I forcefully remove myself from this Funk.  I dropped the kids off at school and then I came home and did my normal chores. After the house was in order, I ran myself a hot bath. No LUSH because this bath wasn’t going to be relaxing.  Though I did lay back and read a book  until I was nice and pruney.  For those of you who are curious, I am about a third of the way through of the third book of the Splintered series by A.G. Howard, Ensnared, it’s fantastic.
I spread a green mask on my face, I gave myself a manicure and I shaved my legs, which had begun to rival Chewbacca’s in the amount of voluminous hair that I had allowed to grow.  Yep, gross. I dried myself off and I put on real clothes. Not the comfy kind, but the kind I WANT to be seen in when I am out in public.  I brushed my hair, instead of putting it up in a  messy bun and then *Gasp* I straightened it!  I know. It’s pretty amazing, the way I look right now and I haven’t even applied makeup!  I loathe the fact that it is so wet and icy outside on my normal running route, otherwise I would have gone for a run first.

Why am I telling you this? Well, if you are reading this and you discover that you are in the same Funk, I encourage you to go take a bath, shave your legs, pluck those bushy brows  and dress yourself up as if you have a hot date.  Then take yourself out for a cup of coffee.  You will be amazed at how much better you feel about everything. You will then be ready to face reality head on and not just hide away as you know you have been doing lately.

image

This is the me who cares about myself. I look pretty good

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